Sunday, November 22, 2009

open your heart...

take whats inside

i think i listened to this song at least five times in a row this afternoon and it finally hit me.

I have been holding on to "liking" a certain someone, and not taking what is in my heart and letting it go.

so here goes.

take them. take these feelings, these desires. they are yours, not mine anymore. I want you to do away with them, help me to find only fulfillment in you and your perfect, all consuming love. Lord you are so worthy. How can you love me? I am weird, quirky, dirty, unworthy, and yet you LOVE me. you don't just love you me, you love me unconditionally, forever. How can I ever begin to express how much that means to my soul, my very being. Satisfy me as only you can satisfy me. fill me with your Holy Spirit, may it be Christ how lives and no longer I that dwells with in me. Let your desires be my own, help me to do your will in everything i do. I love you, you alone are worthy of all the praise, honor and glory forever and forever.
in Jesus' name,

*sigh* so that's it. I'm going to rest in his promise to never leave or fail me. I'm resting in his love. waiting for his direction, whatever that might be.

we sang a beautiful song today at River Tree. here's the youtube link, and the lyrics:

i don't know how
to say exactly how i feel
and i can't begin to tell you
what your love has meant
i'm lost for words

is there a way
to show the passion in my heart
can i express how truly great
i think you are
my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire
to pour my love on you

like oil upon your feet
like wine for you to drink
like water from my heart
i'll pour my love on you

if praise is like perfume
i'll lavish mine on you
till every drop is gone
i'll pour my love on you

I just thought this song was so beautiful. I'm glad mitchell picked it to sing today. i personally needed it, but i hope that those in the congregation were able to worship too. we did a little improv as a band, and I stood in the back so the guitarists could share one copy of sheet music :) it was fantastic! God moved, and I pray people were changed and they were able to pour their love on God.

for so long i've been waiting, searching, putting my heart on the line when all I had to do was love God. allow myself to pour my love on him, all of it, the entire thing, every single drop...God! I love you! I just know that you've given me this deep capacity to love, that sometimes I hurt myself. so take my heart, heal it and help me to not give it away so quickly...Lord no words can describe the peace that comes when I surrender. remind me that I am yours and you are mine. that this is true fulfillment. that no man can do this for me. that you can only do this. let me never forget that you are God and I am not. thank you. I love you. amen.


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