Friday, October 30, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 033

well its day 33, and I've been through a lot this semester. Compared to some people, my life may be a piece of cake. All I know is that I am extremely grateful to be alive. I know that being a university student is probably the easiest job on the planet, but sometimes i would beg to differ. Instead of the "responsibility freedom" that comes with being a High School student, as a university student you get the classes, the friends, the fun, but then LIFE comes knocking at your door every once and a while.

It seems that life has just stopped me in my tracks for a while. I have been sick for the past two weeks. I think that I am finally showing signs of getting better. I went to the Heath Center on campus thursday morning only to be sent packing for home for the weekend. I hate missing class, and miss class I did. Four of them to be exact. ugh. so now im sitting in the library at home, catching up. I've got some Spanish work to catch up on, some music in ministry work to do and an intro to mass media test to study for. I'll be back tomorrow writing an article for The Pulse and also taking the test and submitting my music in ministry paper. Then I'll probably return to the arbor and clean everything in sight. Then I'll go to sleep around 10 and get up for church in the morning. I do not want to leave Mitch hanging, I know its probably not that important that I show up and help, but I do feel like I committed to it, so I should be there.

well i need to get to it, and get this work done before dinner. Hopefully I can get studying and the paper out of the way tonight before I call it a night at around 9 or 10. thanks for all the prayers. they are much appreciated.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 032

so im being sent home by the Holton Health Center.


who does that? well, they do obviously. I am so overwhelmed with homework, classes and trying not to get sick that obviously i have failed...well, im taking home all the homework I can think of, COM 102, Spanish and MUS 306. please pray that I feel better. I figure I can get some work done now...maybe COM 102 posts and Spanish supersite stuff...wish me luck


The Adventure Called Life day 031

prop shop worship @9:30 at the Walrath's in the Barn. 321 Teft rd. everyone welcome

our theme tonight is All Saints Day and Melanie is leading...

well that is another Prop shop in the books. I gave a monologue about Nehemiah and Judah. I was an average citizen of Judah, rebuilding the wall, doing my duty and claiming...OUR GOD WILL FIGHT FOR US.

well im tired. and sick. and sick n tired of being sick. heath center appointment tomorrow. oh boy.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 030

my roommate Melanie has started her first blog. she's asking all these questions and wanting me to help her like im some expert...LOL...i love her to death, and I appreciated for my skill (what skill?) anyway. here's a verse she found to go with her blog.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
Ecclesiastes 3:11
i feel absolutely awful. in in way over my head. I seem to plan things and nothing seems to ever go "according to plan." so in essence I have too much on my plate, too many assignments, not enough time. too much stress, too much worry. 

too many relationships (now that is something I NEVER thought I'd say...) 

so now what? do I just keep attempting to tread water, while I get even more tired, sink to the bottom and not be able to succeed? 


I will not give up. remember the ten finger prayer



that's it. THROUGH CHRIST is the key. so alright. HERE THEY ARE JESUS. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE (crumpling up the sticky notes and tossing them in the air) you're going to have to sort this out and get back to me. Help me see in this storm and still succeed. I want to serve you, but I'm not quite sure where you've disappeared to. Help me find my way back home. I love you. I miss you. I'm coming home. 

In JESUS name,


so about nothing ever going to plan...melanie and i are watching "dan in real life" on the couch in our living room...

maybe I should take Dan's advice...

"Plan to be surprised," Dan in Real Life


answering the call...

I can't necessarily put my finger on the moment it happened, but it did. I answered the call. The call that Jesus makes to his disciples, and not just the "believers" that came to hear him speak. He charged his most cherished friends to, "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." He didn't tell them to make believers or converts. He told them to go and make DISCIPLES. 

disciple - one who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another

okay, so now that we've established what a disciple is, what does that look like? What does that mean for the average joe? 

In my very limited and young opinion, I would venture that this is not what the American Christian looks like. They are merely a believer, a person who admits that Jesus is Lord.  Matthew 28:19 is known in the Christian community as The Great Commission. 

The Great Commandment, Mark 12:30-31 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this, 'Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these."

Now I am not saying that America does not have churches that are making disciples and that are not full of followers of Jesus Christ, I am merely suggesting that we step it up a notch. Instead of being satisfied to fight about theology and doctrine, what about banding together and caring about people. The very thing that Jesus did, ministering to the outcasts and befriending them. For goodness sake Jesus' disciples were outcasts, fishermen and tax collectors. Now those are people that the SON OF GOD associated with, how can we go and condemn those who do not "fit" into our "worlds". 

So this is my bulwark, my flag of declaration. I will answer the call, I will go and make disciples, and follow the teachings of Jesus Christ worshipping every moment of my life. My aim has been to authentic, even with my flaws, I aim to serve Almighty God, unselfish in desire, wanting nothing more than to please the creator and love of the universe. 

thank you Lord, for such as place as SAU. help me to see beyond the facade of "christianity" that some may wear. help me to see this campus how you see it. I love you.
 In Jesus' name, 

Monday, October 26, 2009 for the cup...

so...i've been thinking, yes that can be a very dangerous thing for me to do, but i've been doing it anyway :)

Jimmie Johnson is literally unstoppable in the chase. maybe its the tracks that are in the chase?

Well this week Denny Hamlin managed to win, but JJ came home with a top five. What do we do? How do we stop Knaus and Johnson from sweeping FOUR CHAMPIONSHIPS in a row??

i don't know.

all I know is that JJ and Knaus are literally the dream team. Chad Knaus is probably the smartest, savviest crew chief on the circuit.

well that's my rant. take it or leave it.


The Adventure Called Life day 029

happy monday! YAY!

so i missed Spanish today. That is first time ever that I slept through a class.

note to self: when sick, get enough sleep. thank you.

anyway, lots to look forward to this week. class, and also my online class has started. Introduction to Mass Media. I tend to live on my computer and the internet, so this class will be an interesting journey.

Tony Campollo spoke in chapel today. He challenged us to not just be believers, but become true followers of Christ. By becoming true, authentic people, we embody the person of Christ, and are able to share his love with everyone we come in contact with.

This is very exciting. Now im in the library, yet again, working on COM 102 stuff. yay for the media. wish me luck on testing today for choir. I think im going to need it. (still no voice)


Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 028

so i've decided to take a look at what God has been doing in my life through these last 28 days. We've almost hit the one month mark of continuous blogging...

God has provided friendships, and the healing of one in particular (with Britta)

God has provided food, shelter, and clothing for me.

God has provided family and love that makes my heart burst with joy

God has provided opportunity to minister to those around me. I have been talking a lot with Eric. He is so hungry for God right now, its breathtaking. It has served as a reminder to me to long after God that way as a well.

God has provided a relationship of ministry between Mitch and me. I feel like I am able to pour out at River Tree what is bring poured into me through out the week. I leave there overflowing with joy, peace and love every sunday. I go with the intention of pouring out, but instead I get poured into again. God is good.

God has provided a job, as choir secretary and librarian and I am able to make a little money, and also help out the Choral department. I am also able to spend countless hours in the music building with my "family" as it is affectionately called here at the arbor.

so the list could go on and on and on, but I just wanted to reflect and think about some of the things that God has done. I am about to embark on my first online class. I am a little nervous, but I think with a little patience and some hard work I can manage to get everything done.


Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 027

lazy day.

two days in a row of at least twelve hours of sleep. GLORIOUS.

i know i needed it too. being sick isn't fun, and you need a lot of sleep. being at college doesn't allow for enough fall break was a huge blessing.

i am looking forward to church tomorrow. i feel like helping Mitch is a huge blessing. I am poured into so much at school and on campus that having the opportunity to pour out is amazing. I love worship, and helping the people of rivertree community understand that worship is more than just the songs we sing is very important to me.

Shana bought Criminal Minds Season One. I own Season Two through Season Four. I need to save up to buy Season One now, I think Wal*Mart is trying to get rid of it...its only $14, such a steal!

well its time to turn in for the night. I need sleep so I can sing tomorrow.


Friday, October 23, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 026

13 hours

that's how long I slept last night! i did not roll out of bed until 11 am this morning!

so i hurried up and got ready to go to the store with Mom for grocery shopping. We went out to lunch, then made a trip to Wal*Mart.

After that we sat on the couch and watched General Hospital. My mom loves that show. Then I wrote an article for the Pulse. Its about the partnership between Wuhan University of Technology in CHINA and Spring Arbor University. It was fun to write since I have been a part of that partnership too. I took my cross cultural to China in May and got meet my pen pal at WUT in may too. It was a blast!

now its time for SENIOR NIGHT at hartland high. My brother graduates this year. Im so proud of him. GO EAGLES!


The Adventure Called Life day 025


that's where i am headed. I wish Eric was coming with me. I know that its going to be fun. I have quite a bit of work to do though this weekend, but I have some time get it done and still hang out with mom, dad and my brother.

well, I need to hurry up and make it for my conducting mid-term wish me luck.



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 024


i have just experienced the first fire drill that i can remember in the Music Building of all places. and during my voice lesson of all things. my throat does sort of hurt now, that i have sung quite a bit in the last few days. i hope that I can take some vocal rest, maybe friday would be a good time :) enough to rest up and then scream my guts out at Kevin's last home football game!

i have a lot of homework to finish between now and thursday afternoon. I have a meeting with Diane Kurtz, director of CCS at SAU for an article for the PULSE.

in MUS 306 today we are watching a movie on the author of Amazing Grace. John Newton, was himself thrust into the slave trade. I am reminded of a a movie called "Amazing Grace." i really want to go find it! I wonder if Dr. Walrath has heard of it...

well im again in the library, but this time im actually working on ministry stuff! woot woot! im taking a passage from Nehemiah 4 and making it into a monologue. I'm using the message translation to start from. class at 4, then dinner and studying for conducting. Then Eric and I are going to go see FAME! super excited for that...


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 023

so much to do. so little time.

that's the story of my life.

im in the library, yet again, trying to get work done. I haven't been able to relax all day. I had make up lessons today. I hardly have time to practice again before my lessons again on thursday. I really need this weekend to be here so I can just catch up. I feel like im running, but not getting anywhere. I know that God and I discussed that I have been running ahead, not enjoying the stuff around me. I really didn't mean for time to slow down and for me to bombarded with work, but I guess this is a way to do it :)

Spanish quiz tomorrow...then Chapel time! After Chapel I am going to study for the Conducting mid-term. Dr. Livesay claims that he doesn't try to trick us, but I would beg to differ. Shelby always said his tests were hard, and she's a great student! AH! I pray that studying and re-reading everything will help me to do well. I retain knowledge well. So I pray that I can do well on this. Grades are important to me, but doing well is more than just a grade, it means that I have mastered the knowledge or said skill.

alright, a few more spanish flash cards to finish, then on to conducting...oh joy :)


Monday, October 19, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 022


i could never imagine running for that long... running in general just completely makes me cringe. I like to run on the elliptical or cross trainer machine. Dr. Walrath has just completed his second half marathon in like TWO HOURS...crazy crazy man.

i love worship class. the ideas that come to me are typically brilliant if i must say. who could fathom that Casey of all people would argue against an Organ, but here comes Heather, with her conservative view on sound, church and such...this paper completely stumped me. $200,000 is a lot of money. I think it could be spent better. I really didn't take a "side." Mitch, Bridgett and David both took the stance of first looking at "budget." Well that is a great starting point, and then Ed pointed out that "No church has ever gone bankrupt supporting too many missionaries."

Take Willow Creek for example...they give a lot to stuff overseas, missions and stuff at home. Heather also pointed out that what they "send out" is a fraction of what they spend on themselves and what they spend at home.

"I find it fascinating that the American church is willing to raise money for their church buildings or ministries but when faced with hunger, AIDs, homelessness, hopelessness they are silent." - MUS 306 class collaboration

alright. looks like class discussion  is ready to begin. here we go!


Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 021

the flu.

well I think I have it. oh joy. im not sure if its just a cold yet, its been slowly creeping on for the past couple of days. I have a paper to write and a couple of spanish activities to finish before bed. I would like to finish my paper and stuff so i can write. i really want to get chapter thirteen up of my fan fiction.

so homework is overwhelming. no writing on fan fic tonight. boo.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Adventure Called life day 020

everybody's working for the weekend.

so true.

I am currently working in the library trying to get a paper written. I wanted to get homework, ALL homework done before Sunday. I'm not so sure that's going to happen...wish me luck.

anyway, my roommates and I went to Cascades Park in Jackson and took fun pictures. It was so cold, but I loved it. We all got dressed up, and put on some heels and went out. After a rather chilly picture session, we went to Finley's for dinner. I had the salmon, and it was absolutely im spending a little while doing homework before going to bed. I really need to get a life. I feel like im always in the library...LOL


Friday, October 16, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 019


that seems to be the word of the semester. I really need to focus. I only have three an a half semesters left at SAU. WOW. o.0 that pretty much makes me speechless to think about. How can that be? I only just started. I'm beginning to feel like I did in High School. I can remember looking forward to my senior year with such anticipation and excitement. Now I am sort of dreading it. I'm not ready. So not ready to be out in the real world. I guess I sort of am today. The real world isn't forgiving, and being here at SAU, living from pay check to pay check, and feeling overwhelmed with friends and everything else...

i have been wasting time looking at pianos on craigslist. I wonder if my parents would be willing to buy a $150.00 piano for Christmas. I WOULD LOVE IT! I would be able to play whenever I came home...I might not want to return to school! LOL...

there is just something about having your own piano, being able to say that why yes, I do have one at home just feels amazing! Maybe I should wait until I graduate, but I've been surfing the ads they look good. I would love to have one at home....we'll see what happens with that.

music lab is next. it looks like the line-up of players is going to be awesome! Eric opens and then almost closes. I've put off homework, yet again, but I know that its just due to not wanting to focus. my brain is tired. I know Junior year was my hardest academically in High School, and it looks like my college career wanted to one-up that :) my online class starts next week. YIKES! no life is coming...great!

Eric has practice during fall break. ugh. i can't believe it. im tempted to not go home. I want to go home. I want to enjoy my weekend, WITH Eric. It just seems I need to be more patient. lovely. oh well. I guess I'll just be a spinster after all! just kidding...LOL it is just so frustrating! maybe this is God's way of making sure i focus.

oh yeah.


that is truly the thing that needs to permeate my life. Eric has it together when it comes to focusing on school, music and even friends. Its time I did too.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 018

hello all. I just would like to say, that is thursday and im tired. i would love to just simply crawl into bed and not get out until saturday morning. im exhausted. i need to figure out a way to get more sleep :)

anyway, today was great. rainy and cold, but great. i love spending time with Eric, and last night he was able to go on a walk, and then we sat and talked for a bit. I didn't get back to the house until almost 1am! I sort of felt bad that he was out that late, I didn't have class until 10, but I know he was visiting with his Dad this morning. His dad returns to Kentucky today. :( so sad. tonight is dress rehearsal! I am so excited for the cast! They are amazing, and I can't wait for tomorrow night. I want Eric to save me a seat. I would love to sit next to or near Him. What an experience! LOL...

lots of stuff to do tonight...Spanish test tomorrow to study for. Piano and guitar to play, Italian Aria to learn, a paper for MUS 306 to write and a couple of online discussion board postings to do. Most of this stuff is due Sunday night. So really I only have to study for Spanish, but it would be nice to get started on the other things, especially when I would like to catch up on sleep this weekend and also spend time with my roommates and others on campus!

alright, enough writing, I need to make dinner. I think I'll watch NCIS while I eat and then head to the library after that. The music building to end the day, I love to sing at the end of the day, im usually in best voice, as long as I'm not too tired.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 017

today has been very rushed. i was almost late to Spanish this morning, and then i rushed after Chapel to return shoes I bought at payless for a larger size. then I rushed to lunch with Heather then again rushed to my voice lesson then from that right to class. I now am sitting on my bed, knitting, well blogging now, and waiting for another class at four. im excited we are venturing to the barn to look at the space for our next prop shop! yay...i'll write more after that :)

here is a link to a youtube recording of the Italian aria I am working on in voice lessons. so exciting!

check it out. its from Handel's Opera "Rinaldo" its beautiful!


good morning


help me see the world around me as you do. grant me patience for those that frustrate and exasperate me. Help me to remember that I love you because you first loved me. God I want to serve you with all that I am. Block out all the noise of this world, let me hear your voice, for it is like sweet music to my soul. Soothe my spirit, help it to rise and fly. You alone are worthy of all my praise and all my efforts. God, come with me, be there as I walk, talk, sing, write, type, dance, and run my way through another day. thank you for your sacrifice. I love you.

your daughter


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 016

welcome to music tuesdays...where nothing ever ceases to be done without song...praise Jesus!

I love love love being here at SAU. yes, i wish i could just magically become better piano player with a flick of a wand, but alas that is not reality. so i must practice, practice, practice and practice my little heart out...same thing with voice and guitar. goodness i am glad that i am not a science or math major though. oi! what would not be fun!

God has been teaching me a lot these past couple of weeks. He has been teaching me to take a step back and enjoy what is around me, rather than just rushing through it. I wonder what it was like for Jesus to enjoy his father, especially when he was with his disciples. I wonder if he could see the image of God in them. I wonder what it was like to think, my father created these people, and the very earth I walk on and the very air I breathe. Trying to follow Jesus and his example is very hard. Daily time in the word makes it a little bit easier, but still I am forced to bite my tongue and swallow snide comments and rude thoughts.

well it seems i am not the only one who dislikes and/or struggles with learning piano :) Clark, Ben and Jessica all agree with me. Guitar is so much fun, i usually play every chance I get. I ABHORE playing piano. scales are fine, but chords and classical music can shove it! AH! I find it so frustrating. I am not quite sure why. Actually I do know why. Its mostly because I cannot do it perfect in like three tries, which I am used to doing...LOL :) singing, dancing, playing oboe, playing percussion comes easy to me. PIANO DOES NOT. even Spanish is difficult, but I enjoy it. I like thinking in a different language. Maybe I should see piano this way. I'm learning a new language. hmmm...maybe I will be able to become proficient in piano after all!

Eric and I are scheduled for a walk later. I hope that can happen. I really would love to talk to him. I see him like five times a day, but i miss him. I feel like a hormonal teenager. ugh...God give me patience, help me to  take a step back and think of others before myself. Help me to be unselfish and be a support for Eric rather than a burden. Express your love through me. use me O God to bring yourself Glory. I love you. In Jesus' name, Amen


Monday, October 12, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 015

just another manic monday :)

*sigh* i am so incredibly tired...but i have had an amazing day.

God was present in Choir today. I'm convinced of it. I gave choir devotion today. so. much. fun. I got over my nervousness for the first time EVER :) i usually am a wreck when i have to get up in front of people and speak, i shake and stumble over words. Not today. God has something for someone in the audience. I worship signed to Phil Wickham - Always Forever.  I had this idea that the entire choir could sing as I signed "Hallelujah" and IT WORKED. I wonder if God had put that in my head to help remind someone that they are not alone, that they indeed are a part of something bigger than themselves. I just wanted to have a moment to remind the choir that we sing to God, and God alone. That together in that room we come and bring our worship with us.

after that was the weekly mtg with The Pulse. Another issue is a success, I have a couple of web stories but nothing in the print issue. I am thankful for that. writing two big articles in a row was a little overwhelming, and I need to prepare for my online class :) I am super excited for that to start. We have a mtg for that tomorrow at 1pm.

now im sitting in the library, with no homework to do at the moment, and now im going to FINISH my thirteenth chapter of my first fan fiction story. The world of Harry Potter...HERE I COME :)



its 12:05 am monday morning...and Melanie is filming for her video class.

and my roommate is singing in the shower

so. darn. funny :)

at the top of her lungs.

off key to boot and oblivious to the world.

but you gotta love it :)


Sunday, October 11, 2009

can you see me?

can you see me?
i mean the real me
the person i am created to be
the woman God fashioned
to be a worshipper and love
can you see me?
through all the mistakes
through all the faults
can you see me?
the strength
the will to fight
the heart that longs to love
the soul that cries for justice
the mind that sees music
more than notes on a page
can you see me?
i hope you cannot
for he is the creator
of all things is he
he fashioned me from nothing
place inside me a choice of will
to decide to serve
or to be served
can you see me?
a worshipper of the Lord Almighty
the Alpha and Omega
the beginning and End
the author and finisher of faith
do you see God in me?

The Adventure Called Life day 014

so heather and i had ENOUGH of our kitchen, so we fixed it...yes, we did the mountains of dishes, the counters and the stove top. i still need to clean the bathroom, but the living room is spotless and my desk is organized and clean :) I would like to clean the bathroom before bed, but homework and then hanging out with Eric comes first! After all, i did clean a lot today.

today at Rivertree...Andy spoke about the Sabbath. I have never heard a sermon preached on the Sabbath day as a topic. I don't know what I expected, but I really didn't expect that to be a topic. I did however, enjoy it! I know that having a day of complete rest in my life would be this week I am aiming to get homework and practicing done during the week, and then having Sunday as a Sabbath day. Traditionally, the Sabbath is from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. I would like to work a lot during the week, then use Sunday as my Sabbath wish me luck. how amazing would it be to have a whole day to enjoy God, to focus on him, to pray, to just REST in Him?

so here goes...getting all my homework done in a couple of hours spend at the library and then getting ready to tackle the week so I can rest next Sunday. I even want cleaning and laundry done. now that would be great! LOL...wish me luck!


Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 013

happy saturday! the weather is a complete turn around from this week. sunshine and light wind make for a beautiful fall day! yay!

i just saw A  meeting in Kansas...WOW. just plain WOW. Kyle was AMAZING!! I know he can act, but that was just fantastic!! I know that he was nervous, but i think he did extremely well with the character and staying in character! great job Kyle! I can't wait to see A Meeting in Munich, i've seen part of it for the article i wrote for the Pulse. I can't wait to see the rest of it!!

well Mitch, Heath and David and I are all going to the catholic church to observe for class. i'll update about that later...

so not orthodox church visit tonight! LOL...Mitch picked me up, Heath was already in the car, then we picked up David from the library on our way out of campus. On our way, just as we pass exit #138 and are approaching our exit, Mitch announces that he doesn't have much gas! So here we are, out in the boonies with no gas and we get to the church. DESERTED. okay! so we get back in the car, and head to where else do you go with a bunch of guys who love mtn Dew and food...TACO BELL! so as if it can't get any better, mitch is texting, and eating, AND driving...oh yeah i thought it was amazing!

part of me thinks maybe i shouldn't have had so much fun on our "adventure" but truly it was AWESOME and it rocked. so what if i was wearing heels and when we maybe had run out of gas I had to walk and get some? would have been okay since there were three other people with me! loads of rock music followed by loads of fun and taco bell...makes for a great adventure :) oh how i love college!

well i have worship at Rivertree with Mitch and Hannah in the morning to look forward to :) so much fun! well  im going to call it a night. sweet dreams everyone :)


The Adventure Called Life day 012


oh yes, its friday at the arbor :) and i had another full day...class today was boring (spanish) but contemporary worship ensemble was a riot! Goodness, we need to focus more and get things done! i pray that this prop shop comes together as well as the first did. Dr. Walrath instructed and ultimately lead that one. Melanie is in charge of this one, but there are plenty of guys in our class that like the "spotlight" and to crack jokes A LOT. okay, i laugh, but it became really not funny after a while and then became just counter productive! oh well, i guess that's to be expected when we meet at 4pm on friday!

then i went with the roomies to go underwear shopping! LOL...sooo much fun! we spend like forever in Target...then returned to campus around 9ish. Then I went TO THE MUSIC BUILDING!! to see Shelby Love and hang with Shannon Belloli, Eric, and Kyle. It was fun. but the situation with Kimmee and Eric is still bothering me. It has always bothered me. i think that Kimmee suspects that Eric and I are moving towards more than just friends. I am so afraid of hurting her. i guess i wouldn't be hurting her, Eric doesn't feel the way he did about her before. at least that is what he has told me. i know they are best friends. i don't want to take that away from her or him. they need each other. i just want a part of eric, that would be nice. i do simply adore the man. maybe its unhealthy? i don't know...anyway, its late and i need to get to bed...just be praying that i am patient and listen to God every step of the way :)


Friday, October 9, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 011

happy thursday! today is another music filled day...oh how i love it!

i have something to look forward to tonight, eric is coming over to watch a movie after we both do homework and have our own respective practices, he has play practice and i have drumline practice. i never thought i would ever be on a drumline again, but i am! my freshman year of high school i went to Band Camp as a cymbal player. I had learned flute in seventh grade because i am first an oboe player, and i wanted to play a marching band instrument other than percussion. I tried clarinet, but i don't have the correct ombisure for that. anyway, Mr. Letovsky, the high school band director did not know that i played flute, so the entire first season of marching band, i played cymbals. I secretly loved it, but outwardly i made sure that Mr. L did not think I enjoyed it! anyway, long story short, im playing again and I love it.

so the movie eric and i watched was, The Invisible. I found it very interesting, but it is quite sad. we sat on the couch next to each other and i think you could literally slice the tension in the room it was that thick! i wonder if he felt it too...i just don't know what to do in situations like these. i literally have to stop myself from jumping him most of the time. its very scary to feel like this...


The Adventure Called Life day 010

we have reached the double digit mark! YAY! so exciting...God has been really moving in my life since i stared this. i have found myself becoming extremely more thankful for all the little things in my life.

i do not practice piano or guitar enough. so its my goal in the next week to practice at least 4 hours of guitar and five hours of piano. i owe it to myself to get the most out of lessons and stuff like that. also, reading extra for worship classes and music classes and doing my own research would probably be a good way to spend my spare time rather than on facebook...


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 009

tired. very tired. tuesdays are great, but for some reason i am very tired tonight. i shall soon be going to bed.

God is working very much on Eric right now. Of course he works on all of us, but Eric is really open to what God has right now. I love it! So, we've reached a new point in our friendship. i'm not really sure where we go from here, but i do know that God is guiding us both.

well that's all i have for now. i need some sleep. i have some spanish homework to finish really quick before i call it a night.

oh yeah, im writing another article for The Pulse. This one is going to be about Deeper and Sister Connection. super excited!!


Monday, October 5, 2009

The Adventure Called life day 008

monday. the busiest day of the week! up and awake at 9 am and not done with class until 9:15. PRAISE THE LORD THAT I AM ALIVE. THANK YOU LORD FOR MONDAYS :)

today in chapel i found myself wondering why i was there. President Webb spoke, and then he had a friend share about the "unexpected turns of life." The man who shared has had four kidney transplants. His kidneys failed when he was in high school. i don't want to minimize his story, but i want to share my parents' story. they have been through so much. why couldn't i share my story? why did we hear from someone that we cannot relate to? when i, as a student, could have shared and they could have seen what it is to deal with LIFE and not let it bring you down.

that's what my mission is. most people have forgotten that my parents' are ill because i don't dwell on it. I have told John G at least four times that my father has Lupus, but a few weeks ago at a restaurant he claimed that he "didn't know that." So maybe people forget because they just don't live with it like i do, or they just forget because i don't advertise it and i live NORMALLY and don't let it define me.

these are just things that have been rolling around in my brain all morning. just a way to get them out so i can move on and keep serving the Lord, letting go of my burdens and letting Him handle them. Thank you Lord.


The Adventure Called Life day 007

happy Sunday!

today i awoke and got out of the house before anyone woke up! im getting used to that. i actually like it, there is something about spending the morning in silence, allowing God to speak and calm my spirit.

River Tree was again, small, but i dare say the neatest church experience i have ever had. who gives out Hinkley's donuts during a church service to illustrate how we can enjoy God? Andy does! funny! I loved people's reactions, and of course I do enjoy Hinkley's donuts. They are a bakery in Jackson.

after church a quick trip to wal*mart with Mitch and Hannah was great as always. I do wonder what I should do. I want to get to know him better, but I always feel like I'm pushing or that I'm doing too much. I think its time to let God do this. I can't make someone want to be in a relationship with me. Im also convinced its terribly obvious! i just pray that whatever happens it doesn't detract from our ministry together at Rivertree. That is far more important that any relationship, however it is defined.


The Adventure Called LIfe day 006

its Saturday. I went home yesterday to see my younger brother play football. Despite all of my yelling and cheering they lost 13 to 48. it was very cold, but i did get a chance to talk to Mr. Letovsky, my former band director. i was able to tell him about what im doing and hear what he is doing. i shared with him that im a worship arts major and that i am also on the drumline at school, and still playing in the band and singing in choir.

i arrived back on campus around 9. eric came over for a bit and brought a movie, "State of Play." very very good. it has a great cast. Russell Crowe, Glen Close, Ben Affleck were great! I highly recommend it!

Heather is still struggling, as is to be expected. Lord, I pray that you give me the words and SHUT MY MOUTH when i need to JUST LISTEN. thank you lord. in Jesus' name, Amen.


Friday, October 2, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 005


so I woke up this morning, completely unthankful to be breathing. I hadn't slept very well, but I managed to drag my butt out of bed and into the shower. As the steam enveloped my senses I let my mind wander around the events of the week. I found myself furvently petitioning before the throne of God for Heather and Phil. When their relationship ended this week, I didn't know how to respond. The only thing I knew how to do was to pray. And pray I have been doing. So the entire shower I prayed over Heather and Phil, their broken relationship and both of their families.

Then I had the bright idea to do I quickly dumped my entire laundry basket out in the middle of the living room and proceeded to fold everything "right side out" so i wouldn't have to do it later. I spot treated a couple of things and then threw it all neatly piled back into the basket. After blow drying my hair, slapping on some make-up and grabbing a granola bar and mug of tea from the kitchen I was out the door, tote bag in hand with a laundry basket, soap and quarters in tow. I drove over across the street to the apartments....don't ask me why I chose creepy laundry room C but I did...anyway I raced down the stairs and threw my clothes into two washers. Then I bounded up the steps and out to my car. I didn't bother checking the clock or even the clock tower until I reached Sarah Decan Hall. I had fifteen minutes to spair before class started. I left my house at 8:35 and class starts at 9...tell me how I did all of that in like ten minutes... no idea :)

anyway, I get through a long hour of Espanol, then I go to Apartment C to switch over my laundry to the dryer. I return home and watch the office while I attempt to pack up my things and wait for the hour of drying time to be over with. This whole time I think I have class at 4. I check MySAU shortly after finishing The Office, and lo and behold...NO CLASS AT 4 :) miracle! I race over to the apartments and fold my laundry as I take it out of the dryer to save time. After putting it away at home, I pack up my car and hit the road.

I arrived at my parent's house around 1:30...glorious!!

God is good. all the time. God is GOOD :)


Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Adventure Called Life day 004

so its the first day of October, and I find myself wishing, just a tiny bit, that it was snowing! Somehow I have come to love snow. I'm not sure why, maybe its because Christmas is my favorite holiday? who knows! anyway, i have stated this before but, tuesday and thursday are my music days. i love them. I just saw my first article in our school publication, The Pulse. Its very cool. I just want to thank everyone for believing in me and encouraging me to write and go for a staff writer on the pulse. yay!

today i found out that heather and phil broke up. after five and a half years. i'm not sure what to say or even think about that. all i know is that i have a God bigger than anything anyone could ever face. im praying that they work this out. i really don't want to see them apart. they were good together, at least from what i could see.

well i have lots of homework and practicing to get to. i want to go home tomorrow to see my brother play football, and also to get warmer clothes. that would be nice. well i'll write again soon.