just another manic monday.
or so I thought. that was before I went to Chapel. Spanish was fine, I managed to pay attention and keep engaged. Plus I got a 95 on my last test! Yipee!! and to think i hardly studied...hehe...
anyway, I want to make this into another post, but I wanted to mention part of it here. Ken Medema, an amazing pianist and composer/singer was our Chapel speaker and music today. I loved it. Well, I loved the first five minutes and the last ten.
Ken asked us to share a story of disappointment. and right on cue the water works started. I literally cried the entire service. all I could think of was MOM. now my mother has never disappointed me. She is my hero, my mentor and my best friend. she is also on dialysis. six years now. The biggest disappointment of my life.
I guess I should be happy to say that's it, that is the biggest disappointment, that my mom has not received a kidney transplant. but sitting there, listening to peoples stories, made me just cry. I could hear God saying, "Carolyn, I love you. Don't cry. I know what I am doing. I AM GOD." It was a comfort, and I needed a chance to "let it go," I've been talking obsessively about the song "coming alive" by Phil Wickham lately, but its sooooo true in my life right now. I am, I am coming alive taking what is in my heart and letting it go.