Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Adventure Called Life Day 104...something more...

So I pour over pages
desperate to find out why
the cripple at your table
has what I'm longing to find

teach me how to hum it
'cause I don't know the words yet

help me see the light
I'm reaching through the fight
Yawhea show me the Kingdom
arms open wide
death swallowed up by life
Yawhea show me the Kingdom
SHOW ME THE KINGDOM - Bethany Dillon - Waking Up
I awoke this morning at 9 am. I was not thankful to be breathing yet again. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. I had tried to go to bed last night at 11 pm. But to no avail, I was restless, and I found myself back at the computer. Finally I went to sleep around 1:30.

so anyway, Drumline today was such fun. I love hanging out with those people. I also LOVE playing cymbals! I'm not very good at keeping my place in the music sometimes, but Ben indulges my love of Drumline quite graciously. The women's bball team put up a fight, but lost against Grace this afternoon. Eric sang the national anthem very well, then joined us on Shannon's bass drum because she couldn't be there. She's not feeling well :(

Rachel came over this evening, so good to see her! I really enjoy hanging out with her. She is still dating Justin, and they are doing well. Justin is going through some tough stuff right now, so prayers for him are appreciated.

back to the song I put up on the top of this post. I heard this song in the shower this morning. and it hit me really hard that I have been listening, but not allowing God to show me his Kingdom in the world around me. So today, I did that. I let myself sit back and take the world in. Its times like this, away at school, bogged down my academic responsibilities that I am the most frustrated. I feel like I cannot make a difference. Maybe I'm not supposed to at particular moments. What if I stepped back and allowed someone else around me to make the difference for a change? What if I allowed God to SHOW me rather than just tell me my "orders" and send me out? What if I was constantly aware of Him, and what he was doing in every moment?

My life would look drastically different! I would be less worried about what others thought of me, and more in tune with what God was saying and doing. He is always at work. Why do I think that I dictate that? In a way I dictate his effectiveness. I can either be an open and surrendered vessel, or I can just be another obstacle for Him to work around. I desire to be that vessel.

O Lord, empty me of myself. Fill me up with you. Quiet my spirit, my heart, my soul. Speak O Lord, for your servant is listening...In Jesus' Name, AMEN.


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