why is it that we devote ourselves to someone who is completely oblivious, so NOT INTERESTED they literally scream it at you with every look, every remark, every "joke", its like a slap in the face?
im watching The Holiday, you know, the wonderful holiday movie with Kate Winslett, Jack Black, Cameron Diaz and Jude Law. Both women in the movie are getting away from their lives and start over.
can i do that?
something tells me that in a way, I can. I have the opportunity to at least finish this semester then sweep off to the safe haven of my home for three weeks...I shall return to the Arbor in January, free of the confusion and the pining that has controlled my life thus far.
what is it that makes us believe if we just put on a little more make up, or get our hair just right, that the person will suddenly take notice? what makes us think that if we could just work with them on a certain project, or hang out a little bit more that something magical will happen? Why do we pine for their attention, when all day and all night God is gently whispering, "i love you, i desire you, you are mine, and i am yours, come and rest in me, let me hold you," Ever the gentleman, he isn't shouting it, so its sometimes difficult to hear above the noise in this life. I no longer want to be noticed by men, the right one will eventually take notice, that's not my job to make it happen either. Why would i want to be anything other than who God has created me to be? What gives me the right to expend energy pining for someone's attention when I ignore my Father's voice?
its time my surrender remains. that i don't surrender then turn around, walk back the steps i've come and pick up my burdens and carry them forward. its time to leave them where i left them, and allow you to carry them for me. So again, i surrender. my heart, my voice, my feet, my eyes, my mind, my strength, my soul, my spirit, everything. take it. it is yours, i am giving it back to you. thank you for life. thank you for the breath in my lungs. thank you for this campus and opportunity to have an education. thank you for the beautiful people in my life, and thank you Lord that you sent Jesus to this earth to die and to be raised to life that i might live through Him. thank you. my heart rejoices for you are my Lord, my Love and my God.
in Jesus' name,
i challenge you to surrender everything daily, surrender is not a one time thing. Its definitely a 12 step program, okay so its more like a "24-7-365" step program, but you get the idea...
that's my prayer...surrendering the art of impression.