for so long, i've allowed my parent's health crisis define me. i've let it permeate who i am as a person to the point where i really don't know who I am...
i know that their struggles have included me, I know that is part of who i am, but what about the rest of me? what makes me, well me? I recently had a discussion with a great friend. I met him my sophomore year, and he dated one of my best friends. they broke up, so since I was hanging out with her a lot, I didn't hang out with him. that was a big mistake. I feel like I could have been fair to them both, and I just messed up is all. But now God is allowing me to fix that, and we've reconnected. I am truly blessed. Thank you Lord for bringing him back into my life :) we've both been spending time on the quiet floor of the library, feverishly working on assignments as we wind down this last week of classes and get ready for exams next week. I only have two exams. and no exams on friday. that's just simply glorious :)
anyway, so we talked about how I feel like Im missing something when it comes to friendships. Shelby and I were great friends, and I think I've come to realize I took that for granted. I allowed myself to feel safe and to not continue to reach out to those around me. when she graduated, I was back to square one. So now I am forcing myself to reach out. Okay, so its not "forcing" im being a little over dramatic, I'm reaching out, I want to connect with people. I have discovered that the deeper I get to know God, the more I let him control my life, the more I desire deep, meaningful relationships. thanks God. LOL :)
so who am i? that's a good question...
i am a woman of God. a daughter of the King.
i love unconditionally to a fault
i give many chances for someone to know and if they want break my heart
i will always forgive because i have been forgiven
i am fiercely loyal
i am independent to a point i do adore people
i do not need a man, but i do want one :)
my greatest fear is ending up alone for the rest of my life
i am a storyteller
i am a dancer
i am a vocalist
well that's quite enough about me. that's enough of the "i" statements...
I just wanted to take the time and remind myself to not let my circumstances define me. I wanted to remind myself of who i am inside and to challenge myself to let that be the same on the outside. after all my goal is authenticity :)