I am experiencing the word peace, like I have never experienced it before. This is not a peace that comes from deep within myself, it is a peace that has enveloped me. This peace feels like it has sought me out, found my silly blonde head, curvy figure and fluffy tummy and settled deep in my soul. Its finding its way out of me in rays of beautiful joy.
Pleasure. Now there is a word that you could use to describe selfish indulgence. Sometimes this is appropriate in someone's life. In order to pour out, you must be poured into. Smart self indulgence can equal a multiplication of pouring out. For example, by indulging myself and finding a quiet spot to think and hear God's voice, I am filling myself up with his goodness, wisdom and love. Then when I return to the world, I am able to pour out much more than I could ever offer simply just being Carolyn Marie. Pleasure of course can be a sinful indulgence. Pleasure can also be a very spiritual experience, and no, sadly I am not talking sex :) I am talking about the deep, soul satisfying pleasure that comes from caring for someone in need. The peace that washes over your soul when you see someone else's needs met is a pleasure that money cannot buy, sex cannot fill, and this world does not understand. Jesus came to indulge that pleasure of the father. God delights in us. He rejoices in our lives. He also loves us beyond measure. I cannot begin to understand how, or why. I just have come to accept the mind blowing fact :)
tonight I saw Eat, Pray, Love with my roommates, and it was wonderful. The film was okay, but I enjoyed the thinking that went on in my head way more. I know its bizarre, its odd, but God speaks to me during movies sometimes. I know, I'm crazy. BUT, he does okay, get over it :) anyway, this realization of peace has been a long time coming...actually its been more like a kicking and screaming process of accepting said peace...praise the lord he has been found faithful once more! I am experiencing peace in my life amidst the chaos and stress of this adventure called life.