why is it that relationships are so complicated. im glad im over my crush on this particular individual, but it doesn't stop my heart from saying, why not me? what's so wrong with getting to know me? im still not sure if im doing anything to "turn off" people. I am almost sure of it now. What do I do that makes people not want to pursue me? I thought I was a pretty interesting individual. maybe not. im not sure. all i know to do is to keep pursuing Christ.
i suggested a verse today for Mitchell to read, then he had me do it. great. and i managed to fumble and mumble my way through it. just great. i pray that God used it inspite of my awkward reading...
also, what is this desire to be known? Why do I long for this connection deep inside myself? why do I wish to be understood so much? Isn't it enough to tell God these things? what is this desire for another HUMAN being to know me inside and out? *sigh*
For some reason I have this awkward desire to go to Wal*Mart and piece together a binder for my worship music. I'm talking a SUPER size one, like three inches, with alphabetic tabs and clear sleeves and everything...so im going to do it. I'll write my paper later. I've got all day to do laundry and homework. im going on a little side trip :)