Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Adventure Called Life Day 133...psalm writting...

last night I found myself sitting at the computer yet again at the wee hours of the morning. Everyone else had gone to bed, but me. I'm a night owl, but this is getting ridiculous! I haven't gotten a good night of sleep in little over a week. I am constantly pulled from sleep with a verse or song that has popped into my head. I don't know what is happening to me. I am writing, all the time. Little snippets and verses, mini choruses or just poems. I'm beginning to think I'm writing Psalms. Its weird to claim that or even think that, all I can say is that I've been reading in the Psalms for a month now, and I think that God may be flowing through that and the verses and songs I've written are a product of that. I'm not sure, it is just weird. I usually have a hard time shutting my brain down to go to sleep anyway, but usually I can do it. Last night I had to take a sleeping pill to knock myself out. I NEVER take medication. I just don't like it.

so maybe im writing my own Psalms, verses about my Lord, that are flowing out of my ever thankful heart. I pray that this continues, even though it is scaring me a little. As I wrote a couple of days ago. Its frightening to hear the God of the universe say, "Come away, come and sit in my presence." I look around and ask, "Me? you want me to do that?" I don't know how to describe it. Its one thing to choose to go and sit in God's presence with my own mind. But to be personally invited to do that? ah! its amazing. and scary. It brings me back to the "chisel skit" that was done last semester in chapel. I almost want to ask God, "Okay, so what are you going to get rid of this time?" Instead I should be asking, "How are you going to mold me today O Lord? How can I become more like you?"

Sometimes I feel like I take inventory every morning. I get up and talk with God saying, "Okay, so, do you have my heart? Check. Do you have my mind? Check. Do you have my spirit? Check. Do you have my body? Check. Alright, inventory complete." Seriously, I feel like everyday this needs to be done. And I think that Its amazing that God puts up with me. That he loves me so much. I love Him so very much. I am in awe of His great love, his great power and majesty.

cm

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