i'd give anything for three more hours on a bench with you...
do i really believe this about my savior? if you would have asked me this a couple of weeks ago, i might have answered no. honestly, i was in a "questioning" phase if you will. it was "go or go home" time in my major and my life. I had the choice whether to push forward or to just stay where I was and wallow in my emptiness and loneliness. i thankfully chose to move forward and step out into the unknown.
I can truly say that my life has become so full. so full of peace, and love, and grace, and mercy. I have a deeper relationship with Jesus and I think i am even more satisfied in life than i have been in the past. I have been searching so long for a relationship that fulfills this deep longing in my soul for connection, for love, and to simply be desired.
i've been struggling with the idea of "being desired" for quite some time now. I've questioned my faith, i've doubted if i truly desire to follow Christ. I've doubted that I could in fact, LOVE God. I am so broken, so messed up, how can I love Almighty God?
in a couple of hours, I am going to be giving a very personal devotional. I am actually going to dance for the first time in almost four months. its been tearing me apart. quite literally. so im sharing a short devo, then dancing. wish me luck...
anyway, the title of this blog is "how sweet this is." God has been giving me so many opportunities to just sit and think, "how sweet this is...."
cm
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