Friday, February 5, 2010

The Adventure Called LIfe Day 131...more of you...

more of you
less of me
im tired of my brokenness
im tired of my ugliness
im tired of my selfishness
im tired of my self doubt

Lord
be my portion
be my strength
be my everything
i am tired
refresh me
give opportunities to refresh others
renew me
let my tears not be in vain
i love you
help me truly love you
i don't want these to be just words
Lord
I want you
you alone
to be in my life
i don't need anyone else
no one can satisfy
my heart
my soul
the way that you do

AMEN

I am beginning to wonder if my problems with feelings and my heart are stemming from my immense passion for worship. It just attests to my spiritual immaturity I guess. I am confusing the way I feel when I'm the presence of God, with the way I am supposed to feel all the time. I'm taking anything and everything to heart, right to the bottom, rather than shielding and guarding it. I'm managing to screw up rather royally, what God has intended for good and for growth, and for His Glory. Instead I am damaging myself. ugh. Instead of being in love with God alone, i've become in love with life, and its benefits. I've take him out of everyday things. how did this happen? how did I get so far away?

well, im running. im going back to where God and I were a this summer. no more of this nonsense.
Its the cry of my heart that I will be completely satisfied in him. I want to know him, and his ways so much more than I want to know anything else.

I'm hungry. let me remain this way.

Lord, thank you for this wake up call, thank you for this revelation. I adore you. I exalt you. Give me opportunities to refresh those around me, encourage them. allow me to be satisfied in your service and your Glory. For i am a servant of a servant, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I love you. Thank you.
in Jesus' Name
Amen

cm

PS i would really love to have a praise and worship session with some friends tomorrow. tonight would be good, but I know everyone is busy. let's see what happens :)

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