what are you passionate about? I am passionate about the Lord. So that makes me just as passionate about people. I am so very passionate about music used in worship. I feel the most connected, the most open and surrendered when I am singing to Almighty God.
have you ever been afraid of passion? I know I am. Last night I took some very scary steps with someone i admire most ardently. Time to announce that Zachariah Deitrich and I are dating. *sigh* isn't it wonderful? I know! EEP! well, now that you know, let me tell you the story...
yesterday morning, between my video class (which was let out early) and i left the music building in search of a piano (talk about irony) and encountered Zachariah on the side walk between the door by Heydenburg's studio and the tunnel. I said, "Hey! How are you?" rather playfully, and he responded, "Good," with this odd look on his face and that was IT. awesome. I thought for sure I had done something. but I brushed it off. I continued to the practice rooms and alas, no piano vacancy in sight. So then I retraced my steps, only to round the corner from the corridor into the main hall and there He was again. perfect. I tried to have a conversation with him, but I could tell something was bothering him. I wasn't sure how to go about asking if everything was okay, so i bolted. Liz and Phil were hanging out by the first practice room, but I slipped in and sat at the piano. I played some, continued to explore "You Wont Relent" and also this new instrumental i'm working on...
Then I went into choir. He was doing spanish homework before class. We joked as usual, and I didn't go to dinner. to avoid him. I needed time to think. so I made dinner, chicken, green beans and rice. I watched an episode of Gossip Girl. then I went to small group. then the awkwardness started. We had great discussion until Wesley and Alyssa probed Zach about a "girl." they asked if she was in the room. CUE AWKWARD SILENCE. oh it was terrible! He didn't say anything. my heart sunk. but what was I to expect, him to admit it right then. I know I wouldn't have. Then we took a little side trip to Frosty Boy. Alyssa got the bright idea to "hold hands" I managed to hold hands with Wesley, then her. then came time for Zach and I to hold hands. and all I could think was, "Crap! I don't want to do this, but i do, but i don't! This is so not fair!" i enjoyed it. not going to lie :)
then im not quite sure how we got on the topic of my blog, but as you know, a couple of days ago i posted on the topic of "attraction." and lo and behold Zach read it. I felt like such an idiot. I was so embarrassed. I guess that it was the best blog post i could have written because after I "ran away" again into a practice room, he sent me a twitter message saying that we should talk.
after Bible Study, I tweeted back. Then we went on a walk. I was terrified. completely and utterly terrified. I was so afraid he would just say, "Now Carolyn, I think you're a great girl. I do admire you. But I don't think that we can be more than friends. I just don't see you that way..." I was totally preparing myself for that.
thankfully I was wrong. AH! so good. I am still a little nervous. I'm completely new at this. We're taking it slow, I don't want to take him away from his friends, his floor. I just would like to be that someone special in his life. I don't want to detract from his life, I want to enrich it, refresh it. How i have desired to do that for a man! God is so good. He is faithful. All the time, I know that I can rely on Him. I am so thankful.
so we talked, and talked. three hours to be exact! Then I "made" him do homework. hopefully he'll sleep this afternoon :) I would like to hang out with him this evening, but I think he may still be busy with homework. We are meeting for dinner. that shall be grand. well, now its time to meet with my RA, take a nap, and then go to class at 4. I would appreciate your prayers, and your encouragement as Zach and I seek to glorify the Lord and grow together as we grow closer. Thank you!