i've come this far. God won't let me go. that's the important thing to remember. I've got all these desires swirling around in my veins. I desire to change the world. I want people to know Jesus the way I know him. I know him as the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings. I also know him as the friend who never lets go, who always listens, who is always there. I know him as the lover of my very soul. He's the only one who will never dislike me for being who I truly am. He will always understand me, even if I fail to understand myself. Sometimes I just don't get why I do things, or even why I think a certain way. But Jesus does. That's amazing. I guess I just wanted to acknowledge that I've come this far. Regardless of what happens, I will be okay,
He loves me. Oh how he loves me...
cm
Showing posts with label how he loves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how he loves. Show all posts
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The Adventure Called Life Day 066...you are a masterpiece...
God spoke again today. it just popped right into my heart.
"I am jealous for you."
holy crap! ah! where did that come from? we sang "How He Loves" and then while the skit was happening, God just spoke. amazing. I don't know how to explain why this happens to me. I really hope I'm not the only one who experiences this :)
ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Chirst Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
this verse makes me smile. i think if my soul could smile, it would...the idea that this life, this existence, isn't about me, it has never been and never will be about me is extremely peace giving, and fulfilling. Somehow God has managed to chisel away that "selfish" part of me. The part that says, "I want this or I want that," He has really been chiseling away at me. I'm not saying I don't have selfish desires, I have just noticed they aren't as important anymore. Sure, I fall and give in once and a while...but my main focus is those around me, not myself, if that makes sense :)
that is what I think the word I got today is getting at. God is truly jealous for me. He wants me to be His, and only his. I do not belong to my selfish desires, I do not belong to the worldly ways that have bound me, and I will never "belong to" a man either. If and when I ever get married, it will be a partnership. Sure I will be his wife, but I will be God's daughter first...that is so freeing...thanks lord.
now im sitting in the library on the quiet floor. yippee!! more work to be done :)
cm
this verse makes me smile. i think if my soul could smile, it would...the idea that this life, this existence, isn't about me, it has never been and never will be about me is extremely peace giving, and fulfilling. Somehow God has managed to chisel away that "selfish" part of me. The part that says, "I want this or I want that," He has really been chiseling away at me. I'm not saying I don't have selfish desires, I have just noticed they aren't as important anymore. Sure, I fall and give in once and a while...but my main focus is those around me, not myself, if that makes sense :)
that is what I think the word I got today is getting at. God is truly jealous for me. He wants me to be His, and only his. I do not belong to my selfish desires, I do not belong to the worldly ways that have bound me, and I will never "belong to" a man either. If and when I ever get married, it will be a partnership. Sure I will be his wife, but I will be God's daughter first...that is so freeing...thanks lord.
now im sitting in the library on the quiet floor. yippee!! more work to be done :)
cm
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Adventure Called Life Day 063
happy happy sunday! love these mornings, getting up early feeling like a total bear, and getting a ride with Mitchell to church. We both share a "love" for mornings...LOL :)
well it seems that i do have a little courage. i waited until we were back in spring arbor to tell him the "word" i had received. I shed a few tears because I was so upset and trying not to screw it up with the way I was telling him. I told him "There is something better" and I have no idea what it means for him. I hope he figures it out and it doesn't confuse him more than he might already be about me. well I do feel at peace finally about this word, I'll never forget it, but I can let it sink into my subconscious mind and allow myself some peace over it. Since I have, after all, figured out why I was given it for myself. I do wonder what it means for Mitchell, but I know that is not my business, its just between him and God.
today we sang "how he loves" by Jesus Culture and I attempted to play keys. We had lots of sound troubles today for some reason. Rather than being frustrated with the sound guy, I genuinely felt bad for him. I am too, after all, an amateur at this as well. How can I expect perfection from someone who is learning and experiencing just like I am? Exactly. so I just pray that we get things working right as we have learned something from having troubles. that is the way life works, you fail, learn from the mistakes and try again :) its beautiful...I had a conversation with Genelle about David Crowder Band and that they cover How He Loves, and that they have an awesome song (see previous post) that is my theme song right now off their new record, "Church Music."
well I am just an idiot. I don't try to fight with Mitchell, but I do. Its mostly because I say something, he doesn't hear me and I don't want to repeat it because I'm afraid of blurting out "I like you." Its really an interesting paradox. Andy says waiting is best, and I completely agree. It will happen if its supposed to happen, enough said.
Heather is really struggling right now. and I am beginning to think I am a guy. its awful. When presented with a problem, men attempt to fix it. Apparently I do the same thing. FAIL. I just pray that she remains open and dependent upon God. Like I have been saying lately, true beauty and peace is found in weakness, not strength. So God is going to move and be glorified in this time of struggle and trial. that is my prayer.
cm
well it seems that i do have a little courage. i waited until we were back in spring arbor to tell him the "word" i had received. I shed a few tears because I was so upset and trying not to screw it up with the way I was telling him. I told him "There is something better" and I have no idea what it means for him. I hope he figures it out and it doesn't confuse him more than he might already be about me. well I do feel at peace finally about this word, I'll never forget it, but I can let it sink into my subconscious mind and allow myself some peace over it. Since I have, after all, figured out why I was given it for myself. I do wonder what it means for Mitchell, but I know that is not my business, its just between him and God.
today we sang "how he loves" by Jesus Culture and I attempted to play keys. We had lots of sound troubles today for some reason. Rather than being frustrated with the sound guy, I genuinely felt bad for him. I am too, after all, an amateur at this as well. How can I expect perfection from someone who is learning and experiencing just like I am? Exactly. so I just pray that we get things working right as we have learned something from having troubles. that is the way life works, you fail, learn from the mistakes and try again :) its beautiful...I had a conversation with Genelle about David Crowder Band and that they cover How He Loves, and that they have an awesome song (see previous post) that is my theme song right now off their new record, "Church Music."
well I am just an idiot. I don't try to fight with Mitchell, but I do. Its mostly because I say something, he doesn't hear me and I don't want to repeat it because I'm afraid of blurting out "I like you." Its really an interesting paradox. Andy says waiting is best, and I completely agree. It will happen if its supposed to happen, enough said.
Heather is really struggling right now. and I am beginning to think I am a guy. its awful. When presented with a problem, men attempt to fix it. Apparently I do the same thing. FAIL. I just pray that she remains open and dependent upon God. Like I have been saying lately, true beauty and peace is found in weakness, not strength. So God is going to move and be glorified in this time of struggle and trial. that is my prayer.
cm
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