The Adventure Called Life Day 143...how sweet this is...

i'd give anything for three more hours on a bench with you...

do i really believe this about my savior? if you would have asked me this a couple of weeks ago, i might have answered no. honestly, i was in a "questioning" phase if you will. it was "go or go home" time in my major and my life. I had the choice whether to push forward or to just stay where I was and wallow in my emptiness and loneliness. i thankfully chose to move forward and step out into the unknown.

I can truly say that my life has become so full. so full of peace, and love, and grace, and mercy. I have a deeper relationship with Jesus and I think i am even more satisfied in life than i have been in the past. I have been searching so long for a relationship that fulfills this deep longing in my soul for connection, for love, and to simply be desired.

i've been struggling with the idea of "being desired" for quite some time now. I've questioned my faith, i've doubted if i truly desire to follow Christ. I've doubted that I could in fact, LOVE God. I am so broken, so messed up, how can I love Almighty God?

in a couple of hours, I am going to be giving a very personal devotional. I am actually going to dance for the first time in almost four months. its been tearing me apart. quite literally. so im sharing a short devo, then dancing. wish me luck...

anyway, the title of this blog is "how sweet this is." God has been giving me so many opportunities to just sit and think, "how sweet this is...."

cm

The Adventure Called Life Day 138...priorities...

Today I was not thankful to be awake. I almost talked myself into being lazy and skipping my 9am chem lecture. but I went. good thing i did. We had a book check, now they're only 2 points, but its like free points, so why not go? ugh. well, now im siting Lara's Coffee shop, its located right in Spring Arbor. I took some homework, and headed over for a Caramel Macchiato and some peace and quiet. I have gotten just that. I have managed to take my Video quiz, do the online leadership quiz for Church Leadership and begin memorizing my scripture for Prop Shop. Praise the Lord for productivity! Now all i have left for this weekend is to study for Chemistry and do my Spanish work for monday. I also have to read for leadership, but I can do that on monday night. I do have a leadership assessment to do for Intro to Leadership by friday. I can get that done wednesday. So I'm doing really well on assignments :) awesome. It makes me feel better about going home this weekend! AH! soooo excited!

Tonight we are having a 24 hour prayer and worship service. Please pray that God comes and rains down upon us. And more importantly that we would glorify his Holy name, that he would be exalted, and lifted up. Paul Reif and I are playing for a two hour slot. I am super pumped for that! We also got the "ok" from Dr. Walrath regarding sound equipment! soooo good, and such an answer to prayer! Then afterwards, I get to return the equipment, and then head to Plymouth in the morning.

 I am going to Doug Wright's wedding! Gordon of course invited me, and I'm excited :) I do love weddings, and this one is going to be so special! I did managed to put together a gift! *sigh of relief* I was afraid that I wasn't going to able to do that! but I did remember when I went out last night. I purchased a simple picture frame and a cute card. I am going to write a couple of scripture verses on it, and another in the middle of the photo frame. I think giving picture frames is a way of expressing myself, because I treasure memories, and I also love the sentiment. It says, "I care about you, and your memories." i love it.

so the title of this post is "priorities". big whoop right? wrong! I've been so backwards on my priorities for so long. Of course academics should be near the top of the list, but its been at the very top for so long in my life. Now, there may be nothing wrong with that, but I have left out my quiet time with God. I have been neglecting that. I find that unacceptable. I am also experiencing God literally calling me to "come away," That is why I am doing the devotional I am on thursday. Melanie warned me the song may be hard to "pull off" but I can't shake the idea, I can't run away from it and push it away. I have some idea of what I should do to counter act the "questionable lyrics". here's the verse I'm talking about:

I tried to say
i want to this to work
you take off the weight
if you change your mind
i won't hurt forever
i don't know
what else to do
i do anything to have 3 more hours on a bench with you

ive never heard something that sweet
are you sure you want me?

cause everything within me
doesn't want to risk
doesn't want to rise anymore
than if it means
i get to see the light in your eyes
i'll risk so much more

I understand what Melanie is talking about. But I wonder if this could really work. I know that I have personally done this, I have questioned if God really wants me? me? this broken person. and can i really trust him? I have skewed who God is, and made him to equate a man. I'm sure many women who have been hurt by men do. I'm sure they feel like they can't trust God. But I like the rest of the lyrics. She says, "I don't know what else to do, i'd give anything for 3 more hours on a bench with you" and I feel like that about God. So I'll explain the lyrics before I dance. I also have some scripture to back up my claims :) very important! So I'm doing it, I'm following this desire in my heart, this unyielding, YES that burns deep inside it. So here goes God, guide me, give me the words. you be glorified in this!

gah! im so pumped. God is moving so much in my life right now, its amazing! I don't want to sound conceited. I just want to rejoice in all circumstances. I want to glorify God in everything I do!

Lord, to you be all the glory, honor and praise! let me not reap any benefits from this if only for your Kingdom! I love you, I adore you. Let me life exude your mercy and grace and perfect love! In Jesus' name, Amen.

cm

The Adventure Called Life Day 135...fingerprints of God...

i think i've found it. Well, i don't know exactly what song I'm doing, but I do know what the focus of my devotional will be. I want to inspire and remind everyone in the choir that they are wonderfully and beautifully made :) I need that reminder every once and a while. I want to make them feel special and cared for. So, I am making note cards with each person's name on it. Then I am going to write a verse of inspiration on it. I have until next thursday. I can do it! Actually, I don't want to be the one doing it, pray that God will move through this, will show me what verses. I want to do a section a day. Tomorrow I am going to the Soprano Section. Then thursday I will do the Alto section, then Friday, the Basses, then the Tenors on Saturday. I want to get this done, and then pray over the cards :) 


Lord, give me direction, you have dropped this idea in my heart, and i want this to be used for your Glory. I love you. Thank you for continuing to move through me. I love you.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN


cm


PS i was listening to Stephen Curtis Chapman's "Fingerprints of God" when this idea came into my heart. That is why I titled the blog that way...

The Adventure Called Life Day 074...im dreaming of a white christmas

(sings) im dreaming...of a white Christmas, just like the ones i used to know. where the tree tops glisten and children listen, to hear, sleigh bells in the snow...

well, while this is true for me, I am reminded that there are plenty of people who do not enjoy Christmas. At first I was naive and thought, "how can that be? Christmas is lovely," And I then was reminded that Christmas is the holiday with the highest rate of suicide. The holiday all about the greatest hope coming to Earth is Christmas, how can this be?

I do not have an answer, but I do know that I am extremely challenged by this fact. What can I do to help? I am a mere college student, with too many assignments, too many relationships, too little sleep and too little time to balance it all.

today I had devotional in choir. my other post today is "objects of desire" read that to read what I read to the choir. I chose to do a dramatic reading. I had two little anecdotes to link to the Christmas season, and i think it worked quite well. God definitely dropped this one right into my heart. I was so excited to share it!
so read it. i was blessed by it, you will be too.

cm

objects of His desire...

Can you hear it? 
shhh. listen. 
can you hear it? 
God’s voice, the still small voice that whispers all around us. Its not always an audible sound, its a peace, a joy that passes all verbalization. saying, “i love you just as you are. please let me in, let me show you who i am. let me show you who you can be.” 

I am an absolute fool. I prayed this summer that God would allow me to see people the way he sees them. I was unprepared for what came next. I began to see beautiful glimpses, snap shots of who the people around me could be. I began to see the potential in people above their present faults and mistakes. 

I also allowed myself to pine and run after someone. I let myself fall for those rare and beautiful glimpses of potential in this man. But I missed it. Even after being shown the indescribable potential in him, I failed to do what God does the best. I failed to really love them for who they are now, not who they will become. 

That’s what God does. He loves us. Oh how he loves us. Beyond our failures, our mistakes, our pain, our selfish desires, He loves us. He knows what we could become if we only grew up a little bit, let this or that go. He loves us. He even likes us despite how dirty and messed up we are. We are his creation, the very objects of his desire.

1 Timothy 2:3-4  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Timothy%202:3-4&version=NASB

Monday afternoon, just before choir, I sat in the conference room on the quiet floor of the library. I could feel God beckoning me to the window. It was rather odd, since from where I was sitting at the table, it didn’t look like anything was out there. I sat on the ledge, ignoring the “do not touch” labels in between the electric candles and gazed out at the empty plaza. Well, at least I thought it was empty.

There in the center, walking towards the clock tower was a person. Then i felt an impression run through my heart. “There’s one,” and I was like, “one what?’ Then another person entered the plaza and passed through, “There’s one, too” and again I was confused. After a couple of more people passed through I heard, “Objects of my desire,” then it hit me like a ton of bricks. God was reminding me that we are all objects of his desire, even those that do not confess him as Lord. This has changed the way I look at the people around me. It is my deepest desire to show them that they are loved by God and that they are objects of his desire, just as they are. 

A good friend reminded me that Christmas has an alarming high rate of suicide. Somehow I had managed to forget that life doesn’t stop at Christmas. I am blessed with an amazing family, so Christmas, in-spite of hospital stays, has been a time of love and joy. Just because its Christmas doesn’t mean that all the hurt and pain and despair just vanishes. People are still hungry, still cold, still hopeless. 

Find a quiet place and listen to God speak. Allow him to reveal to you what his plan is, how he is going about retrieving the objects of his desire in your life.